I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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