haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
birth control should be required to get into college
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
