wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
