why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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