you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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