I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
