Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
