Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
