end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize