with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
