I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
