He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
