I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
