I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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