you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
50% drunk capacity currently
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
