whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
