Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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