Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
