Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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