doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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