if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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