you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
