I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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