Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
