also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize