as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
