Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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