Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
