The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
