We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
