you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
time to smoke my breakfast
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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