My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
