so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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