how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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