4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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