so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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