you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
