I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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