i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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