Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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