He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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