I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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