wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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