We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
