Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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