i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
