my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
