so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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