ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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