just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
