If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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