For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
