is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
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i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
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Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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