hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
