Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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